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But Honey, It Prevents Cancer, Anemia, and Puppy Mills. So Just Swallow Already!
What’s for dessert? Heaven gives you all the details you need to make your girlfriend skip the ice cream, and go straight for the cum.
Today's Smut...You Perverts....
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Lindsay Lohan is Getting Paid $750,000 for Posing in Playboy (When We All Know She Would Get Naked for an 8-Ball & an Arby’s Coupon)
“Linsday Lohan to Pose in Playboy” would have been an awesome headline four years ago, before she turned herself into the belle of the trailer park. I wouldn’t fuck her with Magic Johnson’s dick, and it’s practically AIDS-proof. I’m not saying they can’t work their photoshop magic. They made Tara […]
Self Shot
Why I Love Bree Olson (Hint: It’s Not Her Breasts)
I’ve been a Bree Olson fan for years. She used to be in some gonzo porn that I dug at the time, and she is (for lack of a better term) almost a comedic pornstar. She’s actually funny! Even now if you watch some of the behind-the-scenes stuff on her […]
Fetish
Bridget Marquardt Encourages Halloween Sluttiness, Glad She’s Good for Something
Hef’s old part-time noodle blower Bridget Marquardt has decided to put her talents (making boners in the young and old alike) to use by creating a line of Halloween costumes. Slutty Halloween costumes. For sluts. Am I making myself clear? There’s a slutty maid, a slutty secretary, something that looks […]
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Happy birthday, you beautiful bitch!
Yasmine Gold, from Bathroom Bad Sex Manners and Adventures of Dirty Dog 2: Dog Debutantes, turns 26 today. Looking at these pics, I had two thoughts; first, I’d break my neck in those shoes, and second, I wish they’d cut the heat on for the poor girl so those goosebumps […]
Fetish
My Husband’s Dream Girl is Dating George Clooney, Which Seems So Appropriate
My husband has a thing for Stacy Keibler. He’s been a wrestling fan for as long as I’ve been alive (he’s 10 years older than me), and something about her long legs, big butt and small boobs did it for him. In a way, this is good for me. I […]
Fetish
The Most Important Pornstar Birthday of All…
Kim Kardashian, everyone’s favorite Armenian urinal cake, is celebrating her birth today. She’s 31, and I’m disappointed to see that we share the same middle name. I also have a big ass. Perhaps if I had only let some black guy piss on me in a sex tape all those […]
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Happy birthday, you beautiful bitch!
We have three birthday bitches today; for some reason, lots of future pornstars seem to be born on October 20. Roxy Panther, star of Big Tit Mania & Sexual Rage, turns 24. I like her boobs, they’re all big and pink and they look soft like a pillow. I also […]
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Coco Says It’s Thong Thursday, I’m Willing to Play Along
I am one chick who has not subscribed to the thong craze. I love my boyshorts (especially the all-lace Gilligan & O’Malley ones, LOVE!) and nothing can change that. I gave up thongs sometime around the 8th grade. Some of y’all can’t get enough of them, and that’s okay… so […]
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Christina Aguilera is Pregnant with Twins, That’s the Only Reasonable Explanation
Remember when Britney was the fat one, and Christina was the skinny skanky slutty one with more talent, and Britney went nuts and we all thought that was the end? The tables have now turned. Britney Spears is hot again, and appears to have her carzy in check, whereas Chunktina […]