German Fisted because German

I had a German girlfriend once. Her name was Franny. She looked like Scarlett Johansson if you dressed her in Euro trash club clothes and never showered. She taught me all about her culture. Things like warm spiced wine, the proper way to drink beer, and how important anything to do with the ass is to them: Very. I broke up with her when she told me her favorite movie was Alvin and the Chipmunks. No one, no matter how pliable an asshole is, can live with that.

All of the above just helps prove my theory: Germans are weird.