The Real World, Where People Get Raped with Toothbrushes

Back in 2002, I loved MTVs The Real World: Chicago. I hated this bitch Tonya Cooley, who was always stuck up some guys ass. Despite having a serious boyfriend (that she cried about repeatedly, and stayed on the phone with for hours) she felt that she had to make every guy she met want to fuck her and her ridiculous-looking implants. As a license psychologist (no I’m not) I feel comfortable diagnosing her with “My-Friends-are-Hotter-Than-Me” Syndrome. We all know a homely chick that hangs out with super gorgeous girls. And we all know that female insecurity is the gift that keeps on giving. Tonya was the epitome of desiring negative attention, because at the end of the day she based her self-worth on how many dicks fucked her instead of her hotter friends. Or at least that was my 16-year-old opinion.

Anyway, since most of MTVs former reality show contestants are entitled and fucking worthless, they keep coming back year after year to do these shitty competition shows, where a bunch of conniving 30-somethings try to outwhore and outwit each other for a chance a fleeting relevancy. Apparently on the latest taping, some kind guys were going to brush Tonya’s vagina teeth for her (I like to think her pussy is like something from that movie Teeth). Unfortunately, they did it while she was sleeping and now she says she was toothbrush-raped on the set. She’s suing MTV for an unspecified amount, I’m assuming she wants enough to buy bigger implants so she can enter cougar-age with some kind of upperhand, since her face is obviously not going to age well. Anyway, here’s her Playboy Cyber Girl Pics from back when people wanted to see her naked (I guess?)