The Most Important Pornstar Birthday of All…

Kim Kardashian, everyone’s favorite Armenian urinal cake, is celebrating her birth today. She’s 31, and I’m disappointed to see that we share the same middle name. I also have a big ass. Perhaps if I had only let some black guy piss on me in a sex tape all those years back, I’d be famous now.

Kim just had a fake wedding for her fake TV show, with some basketball-playin’ doofus who faked being in love with her. Instead of being the whore with a heart of gold, she’s just a whore with a regular whore’s heart, and we’ve learned from Kenny Powers that doesn’t ever work out. Now there’s rumors she’s having a fake divorce, there will probably be a fake baby in the future, this shit will go on forever and your grandkids will be watching the Kardashians. That is, unless I get my birthday wish (November 18th, bitches!) and their houses all fall off a goddamned cliff in some massive rockslide.

I know, I know, I’m being terrible. And my grandma always taught me that if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. So here goes… Kim, you did an excellent job sucking that black dick in this video!

To Buy Her SEX TAPE ON DVD FOLLOW THIS LINK