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Today's Smut...You Perverts....
Fetish
No Guy Likes Going to the Doctor, Perhaps if They Hired Hotter Nurses?
One of my guy friends went to the GI doctor today, was telling me about the student nurse that didn’t know how to draw blood correctly. To make him feel better, I found this: This is another one of those things that you can file under “Shit Toni (that’s me!) […]
Fetish
Lindsay Lohan is Now the Poor Man’s Faye Reagan
Lindsay Lohan is so strapped for blow money that, according to a source at Playboy (aka Dina Lohan calling from an Applebee’s bathroom), she’s going full frontal in the issue she shot this weekend. I’m normally not a fan of redheads. Red pubes freak me out. Also, I went out […]
Fetish
The Lohan Sisters Go to Playboy Shoot Together, Because It’s Not At All Fucking Weird, Even Though Ali Lohan Looks Like That Lesbian Lindsay Used to Scissor
Lindsay Lohan is a terrible role model. But when you’re born into a family that includes Dina “Will-Fuck-for-Gin-at-Applebee’s” Lohan and Michael “I-Just-Hit-That-Bitch-with-a-Bottle” Lohan, you’re pretty much fucked from the moment you popped out of your mama’s sacred place. I would hope that during her coke breaks in between takes she […]
Uncategorized
Megan Fox Looks Like a Bulimic Who Got Punched in the Face for Being Late to Her Wisdom Tooth Removal
What I really mean is that Megan Fox looks bad. And I’ve only seen three examples of this kind of puffy face: bulimia bloat, which will make your face swell up terribly; domestic violence, which could be possible because the rumor for years has been that David Silver beats her, […]
Fetish
The Worst Fetish Ever
Normally I’d give you some pics or videos to jerk off to if you’re into this, but I will not be a fucking accomplice to this eye-rape.
Fetish
Jessica Simpson’s Pregnant (With a Real Baby, Not a Food Baby)
Jessica Simpson is pregnant, not just super-fat, so we can all breathe a sign of relief (except for those of you that dig fatty porn… in that case, you should go here). Some people celebrate the impending arrival of little bundles of joy with baby showers and gifts. We’re going […]
Uncategorized
But Honey, It Prevents Cancer, Anemia, and Puppy Mills. So Just Swallow Already!
What’s for dessert? Heaven gives you all the details you need to make your girlfriend skip the ice cream, and go straight for the cum.
Uncategorized
Lindsay Lohan is Getting Paid $750,000 for Posing in Playboy (When We All Know She Would Get Naked for an 8-Ball & an Arby’s Coupon)
“Linsday Lohan to Pose in Playboy” would have been an awesome headline four years ago, before she turned herself into the belle of the trailer park. I wouldn’t fuck her with Magic Johnson’s dick, and it’s practically AIDS-proof. I’m not saying they can’t work their photoshop magic. They made Tara […]