Lindsay Lohan is Getting Paid $750,000 for Posing in Playboy (When We All Know She Would Get Naked for an 8-Ball & an Arby’s Coupon)

“Linsday Lohan to Pose in Playboy” would have been an awesome headline four years ago, before she turned herself into the belle of the trailer park.

I wouldn’t fuck her with Magic Johnson’s dick, and it’s practically AIDS-proof.

I’m not saying they can’t work their photoshop magic. They made Tara Reid look like a normal, sober, and functioning member of society.

Some of you are undoubtedly excited about this, because you probably got a hard-on watching Herbie: Fully Loaded with your kids, and you think that a naked Lohan is better than a clothed Lohan. Normally that argument can’t be broken, no matter what celebrity you’re talking about, but in this case, I’d rather Lohan keep her diseased, raggedy vagina in a pair of leggings. If you disagree because you like crackhead porn, check out the gallery for pictures of naked crackheads galore!