How to Make the Most of Taking Your Kids to a Haunted House

Hello kittens! I’m finally back in town after spending a weekend with my hubby and friends in Atlanta. I am a huge fan of haunted houses, and scary shit in general, so we visited a well-known one while we were there. I have a confession to make: I was totally turned on by the people in costume. And I’m not talking the guys who were bare-chested covered in fake blood wielding chainsaws, I’m talking about the guy I took a picture with who was dressed like a fucking tree. I was drunk, I kept calling him tree man, one of my sober friends suggested he might be swamp thing. All I know is that I wanted to fuck him in that costume, provided he not speak and he not remove any part of it. Man, I learn something new about myself every day
So if your kids are nagging you to take them to a haunted house (little shits always want something), see if you can get some costumed strange. The places are always so fucking crowded, and nobody will notice one less monster on the tour for 10 minutes. If you’re too wimpy and scared of rejection to hit on a total stranger while they’re at work in full-costume, then try going to a Halloween party in a costume of your own. After all, most women are really sluts on the inside, and I can’t be the only one that would want to screw some guy in a mask. Or am I?