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A Little Something For Men Who Love Real Tits
Zoo Magazine has compiled
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Happy birthday, you beautiful bitch!
Who doesn’t love a skinny Russian girl? Samantha Rise, from Bitches in Heat 3 and Basic Sex Instinct 3, turns 23 today. I like her tight little body, even if she does look a little malnourished in some pictures, but I suppose that’s why this kind gentlemen is offering her […]
Fetish, Uncategorized
Happy Halloween, Kittens!
Today is also the day we celebrate Kim Kardashian’s 2nd divorce, for no other reason than that I’m bitter that my sex tape never took off and made me millions of dollars, but probably because I was unimaginative and slept with a middle-aged white man as opposed to a black […]
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Jodie Gasson Shouldn’t Be Allowed to Wear Clothes
I look at lots of porn every single day. Hundreds of random girls, all in different shapes and sizes. I’m a straight girl, but I could be turned for this chick. She easily has one of my favorite bodies ever. Big natural boobs, hips, cute tummy. I like that she’s […]
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The Real World, Where People Get Raped with Toothbrushes
Back in 2002, I loved MTVs The Real World: Chicago. I hated this bitch Tonya Cooley, who was always stuck up some guys ass. Despite having a serious boyfriend (that she cried about repeatedly, and stayed on the phone with for hours) she felt that she had to make every […]
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Megan Fox Looks Like a Bulimic Who Got Punched in the Face for Being Late to Her Wisdom Tooth Removal
What I really mean is that Megan Fox looks bad. And I’ve only seen three examples of this kind of puffy face: bulimia bloat, which will make your face swell up terribly; domestic violence, which could be possible because the rumor for years has been that David Silver beats her, […]
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But Honey, It Prevents Cancer, Anemia, and Puppy Mills. So Just Swallow Already!
What’s for dessert? Heaven gives you all the details you need to make your girlfriend skip the ice cream, and go straight for the cum.
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Lindsay Lohan is Getting Paid $750,000 for Posing in Playboy (When We All Know She Would Get Naked for an 8-Ball & an Arby’s Coupon)
“Linsday Lohan to Pose in Playboy” would have been an awesome headline four years ago, before she turned herself into the belle of the trailer park. I wouldn’t fuck her with Magic Johnson’s dick, and it’s practically AIDS-proof. I’m not saying they can’t work their photoshop magic. They made Tara […]
