This Guy… This Guy Should Be President

Posted by VirginMary × November 10, 2011 at 10:23 pm

Whoever finally figured out that people pay more attention to instructions when they’re given by hot girls should be our new President in 2012. Debt crisis? Solved. Housing collapse? Fixed. Healthcare? These bitches could convince you to quit smoking. They could make you drink less. They probably couldn’t talk you into wearing a condom, but we can work on that later.

I had to learn CPR once. Well, twice. I had to learn it in some stupid class in school, and then when I got my first job in a medical office I had to learn it in case I had to save a patient. I kept telling the instructor guy that I wasn’t kissing any ugly people whether they were dying or not, and I was so bored by the whole thing that I considered grabbing his dick and trying to bribe my way out of the class with sex, but it was clear from his body language that he was practically asexual. I stuck with it, I got a dumb little card saying that I know how to do CPR, but the truth is that I have no idea how to do it and if I did I probably wouldn’t admit it. I hate feeling pressured to “do the right thing”.