Friday How-To: Dirty Talk

I adore dirty talk. It’s a key element of any good role-playing scenario, and sometimes the shock factor alone immediately gets me going. I’ve known some guys who were great at it… the filthy, disgusting things that came out of their mouths were enough to make me move them up on my booty call speed-dial list, because it always guaranteed a good time. Then there were some guys who had yet to master the technique… one idiot even referred to his dick as a pickled cucumber. If you’re socially awkward enough to say such a thing, perhaps practice in front of a mirror. Watch more porn. If you’re bored one weekend, maybe find a dominatrix who will beat the dirty-talk into you. You also have to exercise good judgement. If your wife/girlfriend teaches Sunday school, she probably doesn’t want you to say something like “Suck my cock harder, you filthy hell-bound Jezebel.” Maybe if she’s Catholic 🙂

Sasha Grey is an excellent dirty-talker. She and Bree Olson are probably my favorites, even though I’m pretty sure “Keep it open like a 7-11” is a line from a Salt-N’-Pepa song.

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