Lindsay Lohan is Now the Poor Man’s Faye Reagan

Posted by VirginMary × October 26, 2011 at 6:27 pm

Lindsay Lohan is so strapped for blow money that, according to a source at Playboy (aka Dina Lohan calling from an Applebee’s bathroom), she’s going full frontal in the issue she shot this weekend. I’m normally not a fan of redheads. Red pubes freak me out. Also, I went out with a redheaded guy once, and when we got to his parent’s lake house I discovered paintings on the wall of he and his five brothers and sisters sitting on Jesus’ lap. Turns out he was Mormon or something. I gathered my clothes and got the fuck up out of there.

If you like redheads, then Faye Reagan is probably your queen. She’s like a hot, natural version of Lindsay Lohan before she discovered illegal substances. I even dig her freckles, as opposed to Lohan’s freckles, which could just be malignant cancers on top of a herpes outbreak at this point.