Megan Fox Looks Like a Bulimic Who Got Punched in the Face for Being Late to Her Wisdom Tooth Removal

What I really mean is that Megan Fox looks bad. And I’ve only seen three examples of this kind of puffy face: bulimia bloat, which will make your face swell up terribly; domestic violence, which could be possible because the rumor for years has been that David Silver beats her, and if you’ve ever read any of the shit she says you’ll see why; and dental surgery, where you have gauze stuck in your cheeks to prevent blood clots. Some people may say that it’s probably plastic surgery, but this bitch has already had about 17 things done to her face, surely she’s running out of procedures at this point.

Just in case you saw her name in the headline and thought you were going to get to jerk off, watch the most brilliant piece of cinematic glory from her entire career, the scene where she makes out with that boring-as-oatmeal Amanda Seyfried in Jennifer’s Body.

Sasha Grey is just as good as Megan Fox, probably infinitely more talented and realistic enough to know that letting someone fuck you in the ass on camera will get you anywhere you want to go in Hollywood.