Coco Says It’s Thong Thursday, I’m Willing to Play Along

Posted by VirginMary × October 20, 2011 at 6:21 pm

I am one chick who has not subscribed to the thong craze. I love my boyshorts (especially the all-lace Gilligan & O’Malley ones, LOVE!) and nothing can change that. I gave up thongs sometime around the 8th grade. Some of y’all can’t get enough of them, and that’s okay… so long as you know the difference between good thongs and bad thongs. You can’t just propagate the idea that thongs make everyone’s ass look awesome and boner-inducing. That’s a goddamn lie. They should be illegal for people who don’t have the correct body-type or fall into the correct weight-range. If you have to have a size larger than XL (and I mean regular XL, not vanity-sized-so-fat-people-don’t-get-their-feelings-hurt XL) then just say no. If you can’t fit into the thongs from Victoria’s Secret, it’s not OK to wear the ones from Lane Bryant. Also, thongs are meant to accentuate a shapely ass. If you have a dumpy square ass, or no ass at all, thongs are not for you. And men! MEN SHOULD NEVER WEAR THONGS! Just because Oscar de la Hoya sometimes wears women’s lingerie does not make it ok for you to squeeze your nuts into a banana-hammock.

Good Thongs: