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Jessica Simpson’s Pregnant (With a Real Baby, Not a Food Baby)
Jessica Simpson is pregnant, not just super-fat, so we can all breathe a sign of relief (except for those of you that dig fatty porn… in that case, you should go here). Some people celebrate the impending arrival of little bundles of joy with baby showers and gifts. We’re going […]
Fetish
Bridget Marquardt Encourages Halloween Sluttiness, Glad She’s Good for Something
Hef’s old part-time noodle blower Bridget Marquardt has decided to put her talents (making boners in the young and old alike) to use by creating a line of Halloween costumes. Slutty Halloween costumes. For sluts. Am I making myself clear? There’s a slutty maid, a slutty secretary, something that looks […]
Fetish
My Husband’s Dream Girl is Dating George Clooney, Which Seems So Appropriate
My husband has a thing for Stacy Keibler. He’s been a wrestling fan for as long as I’ve been alive (he’s 10 years older than me), and something about her long legs, big butt and small boobs did it for him. In a way, this is good for me. I […]
Fetish
The Most Important Pornstar Birthday of All…
Kim Kardashian, everyone’s favorite Armenian urinal cake, is celebrating her birth today. She’s 31, and I’m disappointed to see that we share the same middle name. I also have a big ass. Perhaps if I had only let some black guy piss on me in a sex tape all those […]
Amateur, Fetish
Gaddafi’s Dead, Let’s Celebrate with Libyan Porn. It’s What He Would Have Wanted.
Sure, this woman may have been stoned to death or horse-whipped after this video was made. That doesn’t mean it’s not awesome. She died for doing something she loved. Unless she was forced. In which case it’s kind of sad. Fuck it. libyan woman sex in libya fuck libyan girlbrought […]
Amateur, Fetish
I Fucking Love Nerds
I totally have a nerd fetish. I love smart guys who are a little geeky, the computer programmer type. I married an accountant, and every morning when he puts on his slacks and dress shirt, I get a little turned on. I have no idea when it started or why […]
Fetish, Uncategorized
Sleep & Sex, Two of My Favorite Things
A friend and I were discussing how sometimes we’re most horny when we’re exhausted and tired. I’ve heard of people having sex in their sleep, which is cool I suppose if you know the person. Otherwise, it’s like a cross between cow tipping and date rape, and I’m not sure […]
Fetish
The Art of the Rim Job
You can file this under the category of “things I have no intention of ever learning how to do.” I’ve had it done to me, it was lovely, not returning the favor. But just in case it strikes your fancy, this chick will give you tips: And if you’re a […]
Fetish
Let’s Play ‘Which Would You Rather Go Down On?’
Some people say I’m a feminist. Actually, nobody says that because I’d punch them in their throat. BUT I am a conservative Republican housewife in my early 20s that enjoys watching and writing about pornography, and that’s much cooler than a feminist any fucking day. The point is, despite all […]
Fetish
I can draw on myself with magic markers, too.
Up until about three years ago I had a fear of needles so intense that I required Valium to have my finger pricked (a fear that made no sense, by the way, because I was into anal, and a dick in your ass definitely hurts more than a tiny needle […]
Fetish
Happy birthday, you scary bitch!
Last year Jesse James tried to make it trendy to bone tatted-up skanks who looked like men with really great tuck game. If you ever got a chubby for Bombshell McGee or Kat Von D, then you should really like today’s birthday bitch Rachel Rotten. Sure, she has the worst […]
