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Articles by: VirginMary
Fetish, Uncategorized
Sleep & Sex, Two of My Favorite Things
A friend and I were discussing how sometimes we’re most horny when we’re exhausted and tired. I’ve heard of people having sex in their sleep, which is cool I suppose if you know the person. Otherwise, it’s like a cross between cow tipping and date rape, and I’m not sure […]
Fetish
The Art of the Rim Job
You can file this under the category of “things I have no intention of ever learning how to do.” I’ve had it done to me, it was lovely, not returning the favor. But just in case it strikes your fancy, this chick will give you tips: And if you’re a […]
Uncategorized
You Can’t Turn a Ho into a Housewife (Because You Already Have One)
In an interview with USWeekly, Ashton Kutcher’s side piece Sara Leal confirms that she not only had sex with Kelso, but that she did so knowing her was still married (though she thought they were ‘seperated’). You can read all of the moronic 22-year-old whore stuff that she said, but […]
Fetish
Let’s Play ‘Which Would You Rather Go Down On?’
Some people say I’m a feminist. Actually, nobody says that because I’d punch them in their throat. BUT I am a conservative Republican housewife in my early 20s that enjoys watching and writing about pornography, and that’s much cooler than a feminist any fucking day. The point is, despite all […]
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2 Former Miss Universe Contestants Have Hardcore Threesome (on tape, of course…)
I, like every other person with a vagina, watch Project Runway every season. While I was browsing for content to share with y’all today, I came across a sex tape with a familiar face in it… Anya Ayoung Chee, from this current season of Project Runway. She’s also a former […]
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Best Ass on TV: Winter Ave Zoli
I am a huge fan of FX’s Sons of Anarchy, which subsequently makes me a fan of Winter Ave Zoli. As Laila, the pornstar with the heart of gold, she prances around set wearing a big smile and jeans so low that we can all see her wax job. I’m […]
Uncategorized
The Many Adventures of My Ass, and Why It’s Always Getting Me Into Trouble
It’s always important to be honest with yourself, because self-reflection leads to enlightenment or some such shit. Well, my truth has always been that I have a bangin’ ass. My boobs are nothing to write home about, just cute B-cups that will likely remain perky for the rest of my […]
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Muammar Gaddafi’s Son Married Westernized Whore, Which is as Good as a Peace Treaty in My Book
You know what they say… “An oppressed with few rights lady in the street, but a freak in the bed.” Am I right? No? Fuck it. Gaddafi’s son Hannibal, judging from his drunk-driving incidents and assault charges for beating his girlfriend, is a real winner. Fortunately for him, power and […]
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‘Hung’ Star is Comfortable with Her Nudity, So Am I
If you’ve never watched HBO’s Sunday night comedy Hung, now is a good time to start. The show is about a recently divorced high-school coach who makes big bucks as a man whore on the side. His two pimps (pimpettes?) Tanya and Lenore often bump heads and scheme revenge against […]
Fetish
I can draw on myself with magic markers, too.
Up until about three years ago I had a fear of needles so intense that I required Valium to have my finger pricked (a fear that made no sense, by the way, because I was into anal, and a dick in your ass definitely hurts more than a tiny needle […]